Wow, thank you for this article! This makes so much sense and explains A LOT for me.
This brings light to why, when I was in a decade long relationship with an abusive narcissist, I insisted on keeping our sex life very much alive throughout the whole relationship, as it was the only thing that gave me a sense of comfort and, ultimately, love—It became my only source of love.
It explains, partially, why I was drawn to the BDSM scene after leaving this relationship and why I’m hugely turned on by fear.
Dealing with anxiety, nothing calms and balances me like physical affection and sex. While I understand, I don’t relate to those who have no energy for or feel too stressed for sex. For me, I use sex to combat those things.
Very insightful, eye-opening, and well written! Thank you!