It’s definitely a combination of all and yes, with a narcissist the protection of their ego is self preservation. We do also have a child together who lives with me. He (the ex) lives on a different continent which makes the fear for my safety less immediate, yet no more looming for when he comes to visit (once a year).
I’ll continue to write with a pen name to have the option of sharing when I wish, but, as you say, with artists who use a different name it eventually becomes common knowledge… this feels inevitable with the amount of connections we still share and he will find out.
I thread with caution!
Thank you 🙏 💋