Hi Tracey! I think it’s impossible to enjoy unless you’re completely relaxed and trusting your partner 100%. For me, beyond feeling safe with my lover, it’s all about being properly prepped and ready. I freak out about the idea of not being in control and things getting ‘messy’. I wrote a pretty extensive anal prep guide for this reason. Obviously, that alone won’t help you overcome your trauma, but feeling secure in this way could perhaps help?