thank you so much for your comment and I'm glad that I can show you how things can be different.
On that note, remember that things can't be different unless you actually do things differently, and the only way to 'step into her consciousness' is to involve her in the process. Did you ever consider seeing or speaking to a sexologist or couples sex-therapist? Or find ways to bring these topics on the table in a way that would make her feel comfortable and not scare her away? Most of the time, it's fear and shame that keep us from expanding and connecting to our sexualities…
Wishing you and your wife all the best <3